I'm Sorry

Over the weekend I got news that a guy that ………I would call my friend, had pasted away. He had died in a car incident, awkwardly enough on the same road that my workplace is located on.
I had known him for a long time. His mom and my mom both worked at the elementary school, and being well younger than me, we would still play basketball while waiting on our moms to finish their work. We weren’t in touch for a while, but still occasionally hung out. During and after graduation we saw each other at parties, ect, and ect. It was less than a year ago when I threw up in his car……coming home from the club……..yea…its gross but it happens. (Ive thrown up 3 times, while partying…and its always in a vehicle, I think its motion sickness vs. Yagerbomb)
And on top of that memory, it wasn’t 2 weeks ago when me and my friend Chet hung out with him. We talked about his work, and whatnot. And I remember him being there with a girl…..wander if it was his girlfriend? But anyway…..its been rough on some people. A mutual friend that me and he had……named “Bob”, took the death bad. He showed up to my house last night drunk, wanting to go duck hunting. This is Bob’s second close friend to die in an automobile incident. I have to admit that that is weird, however I don’t think drinking is the right way to go. I would have went the other way, and offer every friend I had a ride to wherever they were going. (I only rely on drinking when girls tear out your heart and use it as toilet paper, then grind it up and use it as fertilizer, *sorry so graphic)
But to the real question that I ask myself through all of this has to do with the funeral and visitation. I don’t know when the funeral is….and I know the visitation was today. But I just wander why…..im not a funeral person. I mean, I don’t go to them, nor visitations.
And the reason why (I think) I don’t go to visitations…..is that you have the people….wandering around a room, not really knowing anyone else……sometimes with flowers….. ……trying to make everything and everyone more comfortable…….and on top of that your in a small room with a casket, and possible finger food. That’s an awkward tradition to me….no matter who you are, you have to admit to that.
And funerals…..I just don’t like crying or mourning. I mean, yea im a guy, but I get choked up at funerals. And honestly, I don’t think there are to many people in the world that would say that they want people to cry their eyes out at their funeral…….and I don’t know what else to say, maybe there is just something in the fabric of my soul that hates, or is incomprehensive of funerals and how they are to be dealt with emotionally, so I just stray away from them. And on top of that, im not a very good consoler. I can’t make people feel better…..I can be there, I can be a shoulder to cry on, but saying nice things…..and whatnot…..I’m terrible. So Cass, if your up there, hanging out, possibly being bored and reading this….im sorry I couldn’t’ be there…..and I hope u understand.
So in conclusion, this weekend, has been a pretty bad one….the passing away of a friend, the worst opening weekends of duck season in my life…. **sigh**……at least I helped “Bob”, and I got the job….that I drug tested for. But here are a few extra thoughts.

Extra Extra!

-Texas Tech….I was on your bandwagon and you let me down. What does it feel like to lose to a team that’s a beast during the season but always chokes in a BSC game (Oklahoma)

- Can you tell if someone has the potential to be a bad person? Me and “tha g/f” had this discussion, and her point was that everyone has the potential to be bad or do bad things. To me this is untrue….I mean….when you think of yourself in that position……there isn’t anyway I could be a bad person….a murderer, or something like that. And I believe I have the ability to tell if a person can do something horrible like that or not. I mean….its easy for me to look at Ryan Seacrest and say that the guy has never done anything remotely bad……unless you believe that homosexuality is bad…….or that Ben Stiller isn’t capable of doing anything bad ……other than Tropic Thunder. It seems like a logical conclusion……tha g/f is WRONG !

A Bit of a Tid-bit

- There is a law in Nebraska that was created to lower the abortion rate, that allows anyone to leave a child(abandon) at a hospital without legal charges being brought against them. Instead of outlawing abortion, they figure it would be ok for teen parents and others to let the state take care of the problem, through orphanage, and child services, rather than the process of aborting. The funny thing about this law is that people have been dropping off their 13-16 year old children at hospitals to basically “get rid of them”. I know this may not seem funny first off, but how many times do you think parents are going to use that law to scare their kids?

Johnny if you don’t stop playing that dam guitar hero and do your homework, …….your ass……..going to Nebraska
Sarah, stop being a whore……or I’ll carry your emo ass to Nebraska……yea……..you heard me…….

- Was watching some morning news broadcast of an anchor-woman swimming with a tiger at a zoo. The woman was swimming under it, hugging its back and tugging along for a swim holding its tail. If any of you knew me, you would know that I’m not a mean person……..but to see a woman, mauled in a swimming pool by a tiger, because the dumbass was holding onto its tail would be sweet justice for the animal kingdom in my book. I mean,
1. Tigers belong in the safari/jungle/where ever in Africa.
2. Not in a zoo in San Diego in a concrete swimming pool with a anchorwoman gripping its tail as he swam.

- Dunno if any of you have ever watched Jaywalking on Jay Leno. But all he does is go around asking really easy questions that anyone should know, like for example who was the first president? Or who is the current vice president……ect ect. Well I always thought that they were actors, because surely no one was that dumb. But I was wrong……..I have a very very very close friend…..(female) that looked me in the eye last night, and asked me, “ Paul what war was it where the South fought the North?”
I gasped….asked if she was kidding me……and all she said was……., “ I suck at history…..

Well guys and girls, …….after 6 months of job searching, I think I may have finally found a job. I mean yea,…..i still work at UPS part time, but I mean as in finding a potential career job. It has not come easy at all. For fun, let me give you a rundown of things ive interviewed and applied for.

- Insurance salesman
I had a great interview however the territory manager found a guy that was licensed(?sp) to sell insurance in the area that he would have sent me. Dunno if it was legit or not, but at least he gave me a call back and a reason why I didn’t get the job.

(observations: Tha guy was a tool. Within 15 minutes of being there, he told me how much he made, how he makes more than his lawyer friend, and that in college when he played football he benched 360, however when he asked me that question on how I dealt with rejection….I owned that question, and he may never hear a better answer to it in his life……….How do I know? ………he said so)

- Pregnancy Center
Yes, I interviewed for a job as a pregnancy center assistant director. Craziest interview ever. First off I found it in an ad in the paper. I sent a cover letter, resume, yada yada yada. I get a call, go to the interview, and it’s an old man, and woman. They tell me to have a seat. And sitting there with my portfolio in hand, they sit and stare back at me……..I’m waiting for questioning, but it never comes, and to prevent the awkwardness, I ask if there were any questions about my qualifications, …..and I ask what are some more in-depth job requirements for the given position. The woman looks at the old man, the old man looks at the woman……..and finally the old man asked where I saw the job announcement, and I told him the newspaper, and what all it had said about the job position.
The woman shocked……asks if I would like to see the requirements of the job and I said sure……..she gets up and looks for the requirements for about 30 minutes, while I talk to the old man, and hand him my portfolio. ( He didn’t ask for anything particular, however wanted to just look at the whole thing) Come to find out the old man is a Minister and a board of directors’ member. There are no questions being asked of me, however I start conversations, that lead to questions about my education and ect. The woman……was the director of the center…..yet she never asked any questions, more or less they were sitting there shocked that a guy had applied for the job. Of coarse I applied for the job considering it was for more of an assistant director position/ GRANT WRITER . However, the interview ends with the woman handing me the requirements, and me leaving……pissed and semi embarrassed. It was one of those things where the job didn’t require any college……..I had a 4 year degree………I looked at the paper that had the job requirements……they were a piece of cake………….yet the whole downfall for me and that position was that I was a dude…….It kina sucked……..it would have paid really well.

(Observations: the place was hella-old. Hobo teens, and hobo elders were coming in there to get the hobo babies shots……free shots, because the place was a non-profit organization. I wouldn’t have minded working there, its doing the world a nice thing……..or at least nice things for hobos.)

-Call Center HR Specialist
I was done dirty with this job……..read, and printed the job requirements, and job qualifications, applied and got a call and got a scheduled phone interview. After that interview, I was scheduled another one for the next day. I had that phone interview also. Finally, instead of a face to face interview, the woman was going to have to call me because she was in California. I was ok with that and I went with it. We talked, everything was going great. She asked me everything that the other two interviewers had. Then asked what HR experience I had. And I told her about the training ive been involved in and things like that. She then asked what experience in HR law I had had. I told her bout the classes I had and ect and ect. And she then said……” You do know that this job requires you to be certified right?”…….I of coarse said no, because it wasn’t’ shown in the ad, nor was it mentioned to me in the prior interviews…….She said, “ wow this is embarrassing, I’m sorry for wasting your time, I’ll have to talk to the people to change the ad, and talk to the other prescreening interviewers.” I then say…….Yea……..might wanna get on that………..

(Observation: This place just pissed me off. How does a business function like that……I should have told them to get their head out there ass, and setup a good interviewing process)

- Best Buy
Yes I get desperate, after several other interviews……I get this desperate. I get a call, go to the interview……things go well. However they don’t tell me my potential pay until the day of our training. We get there, I start to sign my papers, and see how much my pay per hour is going to be…… $7.50 per hour…….yes, I did what we people in the south call……..shit a brick. I even set there through the presentations,……..training packet…….and ect. However when the tour of the store was going to begin I talked to the woman alone……and told her it was impossible for me to work there making that much money. It was going to cost more for me to work there than I would make. (gas, the black pants I had to buy) I also told her that I had other places somewhat lined up, and that if I would have known how much I was to make earlier, I would not had wasted her time. She looks at me and turns red and mad, and asks to clarify, that I hadn’t been told how much I was going to get paid. I said no…….I just found out…….literally 5 minutes ago.

(Observation: I embarrassed a woman because I hadn’t’ been told what my pay was prior to my training day, plus, she did not know that I was a college graduate. I’m not flaunting that around…..but when I told her that she totally agreed with me on not being able to work there.

However, recently ive given up on trying to get into organizations on my own……ive now started using the…..hey, u work where? Can u get me an interview, or get me a job? And I must say…..if I get this job…….im shooting 100% with this tactic. I mean, I had one interview…..and I believe it went well, and then they sent me to have a drug test today……which I better pass unless they jack with the pee/urine/ yellow stuff/……. I mean, I don’t’ do drugs, but……im just one of those southern pessimist. But it was a great story of what happened during the testing.
I walk in, the guy tells me to go feel the cup up……I do and I come back……he looks at me and says, “Dude,……you been drinking beer?”
I say, “What today?........noooooo?”
He laughed messing with me obviously, and was like,”yea ive been doing this so long I can smell it in the urine”……
I was like…”Wow…you’ve been doing this waaaayyy to long”.

(Observation: I really need this job, it’s a partial government job, pays well, its unionized, though im not big on them, their wages tend to be higher. And not to mention it’s a 4 day workweek (10hr shifts)

So, in conclusion……its been crappy. I’m the type of person that if i don’t feel productive or doing anything productive, I become depressed, and feel like a waste of life. (not in a suicidal way) Its funny though, thinking bout it, maybe if more peeps would be like me, there wouldn’t be so many people drawing unemployment, and being hobo’s. (I have a grudge against hobo’s)

First Blog

Well, guys and girls, this is my first blog here. However it's by far not the first blog that I have ever typed. But before I get into what ive typed, or done, I thought it would be best to tell everyone a little about myself.
My name is Paul (last name left out cuz hackers, really weird stalkers that follow guys that are 23 years old, and The Government....haha j/k, no im not one of those type). I have grown up in southwest Arkansas, near the border of Texas. I went to school at G School (name left out for above reason) untill 8th grade, then moved to rival F School. The decision wasn't an easy one, and maybe i'll even blog a little about it. I graduated in 2003, where even more important decisions were made, .....some of which I have huge regrets, and yes, at the time they did involve a girl......(story made for a later date). I then began college while working. This time of my life was a crazy. To be brief i'll just say, I was single.......and I had a little money. After that, some near death experiences happened to me, as well as breakups, and not to mention college graduation, and.............BAM!! I'm here. Sounds simple.....but in my twisted, overanalyzing mind, I feel wore down and in need of a HUGE break.
Furthermore, I had an account on MySpace, and had well over 150 blog entries. All of which were deleted when I deleted my account (Future blog subject). I had alot of comments, and alot of great stories. From my own rendetion of Celebrity Death Matches, to hunting stories where I thought I was going to be attacked by a panther.

I have also touched on religion, which may be a no-no. Anytime I touch on a subject such as this, I will try to be politically correct by using god/karma/universe/ect. I feel its the best that I can do without upsetting an unreligious reader, or random a$$clown.

I also must say that I do occasionally curse in some of my entries. I try to use words that are semi funny.....but words that I really do use not just in writing. (See a$$clown above) If you find these words to be offensive, then I suggest you not watch t.v., listen to radio, or even go out in public. I suggest you sit at home and stare in a corner and listen to nursery rymes(sp?) all day. If you don't like it, then stop reading it.

Im not a really big gross person. I'm not big on gore.......like describing it and stuff, so if your into that....I dunno, find someone else that is, and hookup....cuz I don't see it being to common.

Anyway, the rest of my blogs will be alot funnier than this one......this is just a basic, hi to everybody, I'm back.......and to the new people......Hi, I'm Paul, this is what to expect......but funnier, and I expect a little feedback from posts, and stuff. Also, there will be alot of names involved in my blogs, they will be real people, but their names may, or may not be made up.....for security, and also I don't want phone calls at 4 in the morning because people are mad that I posted bad things about them. And yes.....I will post and write about bad people.....but I'll ALWAYS give you my opinion of why, or what they did to me. I will not hold anything back........and thats a promise. Spelling and grammer will never be checked in any of my blog entries......if I have problems spelling the word, I'll just put (sp?) after the word. Kapeash?\

Random Thoughts
1. Texas Tech.......once again proving that the Spread offense is possibly the most effeciant offensive strategy in all of football.
2. LSU........my teaaaammm!!! Your effin killing me !!! You lose in over time to Alabama? Find a QB in the offseason and recruit him with everything you got!!!
3. My fantasy football team owned this weekend......some would say I BABTIZED my opponent.
4. Tha g/f better hurry up and text me back before I got work......seriously.......she text me and woke me up, now she don't respond. If you own a cellphone, there is no reason to ever not be able to answer it unless your at work. If you have a ton of missed calls, your totally wasting your money on having it.......and your wasting the people's time that are trying to call you. And in my book, your an a$$clown for that.
5. Who was the first guy/girl that looked at a horse and decided ........"I think i'm going to hop on its back and let it ride me around". Considering how big horses are in comparison to a man or woman......the guy/girl was either brave, or a complete idiot.
6. I hope and pray I get that job. (future blog entry)