I'm Sorry

Over the weekend I got news that a guy that ………I would call my friend, had pasted away. He had died in a car incident, awkwardly enough on the same road that my workplace is located on.
I had known him for a long time. His mom and my mom both worked at the elementary school, and being well younger than me, we would still play basketball while waiting on our moms to finish their work. We weren’t in touch for a while, but still occasionally hung out. During and after graduation we saw each other at parties, ect, and ect. It was less than a year ago when I threw up in his car……coming home from the club……..yea…its gross but it happens. (Ive thrown up 3 times, while partying…and its always in a vehicle, I think its motion sickness vs. Yagerbomb)
And on top of that memory, it wasn’t 2 weeks ago when me and my friend Chet hung out with him. We talked about his work, and whatnot. And I remember him being there with a girl…..wander if it was his girlfriend? But anyway…..its been rough on some people. A mutual friend that me and he had……named “Bob”, took the death bad. He showed up to my house last night drunk, wanting to go duck hunting. This is Bob’s second close friend to die in an automobile incident. I have to admit that that is weird, however I don’t think drinking is the right way to go. I would have went the other way, and offer every friend I had a ride to wherever they were going. (I only rely on drinking when girls tear out your heart and use it as toilet paper, then grind it up and use it as fertilizer, *sorry so graphic)
But to the real question that I ask myself through all of this has to do with the funeral and visitation. I don’t know when the funeral is….and I know the visitation was today. But I just wander why…..im not a funeral person. I mean, I don’t go to them, nor visitations.
And the reason why (I think) I don’t go to visitations…..is that you have the people….wandering around a room, not really knowing anyone else……sometimes with flowers….. ……trying to make everything and everyone more comfortable…….and on top of that your in a small room with a casket, and possible finger food. That’s an awkward tradition to me….no matter who you are, you have to admit to that.
And funerals…..I just don’t like crying or mourning. I mean, yea im a guy, but I get choked up at funerals. And honestly, I don’t think there are to many people in the world that would say that they want people to cry their eyes out at their funeral…….and I don’t know what else to say, maybe there is just something in the fabric of my soul that hates, or is incomprehensive of funerals and how they are to be dealt with emotionally, so I just stray away from them. And on top of that, im not a very good consoler. I can’t make people feel better…..I can be there, I can be a shoulder to cry on, but saying nice things…..and whatnot…..I’m terrible. So Cass, if your up there, hanging out, possibly being bored and reading this….im sorry I couldn’t’ be there…..and I hope u understand.
So in conclusion, this weekend, has been a pretty bad one….the passing away of a friend, the worst opening weekends of duck season in my life…. **sigh**……at least I helped “Bob”, and I got the job….that I drug tested for. But here are a few extra thoughts.

Extra Extra!

-Texas Tech….I was on your bandwagon and you let me down. What does it feel like to lose to a team that’s a beast during the season but always chokes in a BSC game (Oklahoma)

- Can you tell if someone has the potential to be a bad person? Me and “tha g/f” had this discussion, and her point was that everyone has the potential to be bad or do bad things. To me this is untrue….I mean….when you think of yourself in that position……there isn’t anyway I could be a bad person….a murderer, or something like that. And I believe I have the ability to tell if a person can do something horrible like that or not. I mean….its easy for me to look at Ryan Seacrest and say that the guy has never done anything remotely bad……unless you believe that homosexuality is bad…….or that Ben Stiller isn’t capable of doing anything bad ……other than Tropic Thunder. It seems like a logical conclusion……tha g/f is WRONG !

1 Comment:

  1. Anonymous said...
    The point I was attempting to make with everyone has potential to be bad is that everybody has certain occassions handed to them that they could potentially do something bad or something good. It is just what you do with the occassion that is given to you that determines whether you are bad or good.

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